RENT?
by Fastestthingalive34
Summary: A spoof on RENT! Yay! Short Summary I know, oh well!


**Me: HAHA! A RENT spoof, yay! MARK! DO THE DISCLAIMER!**

**Mark: filiming a homeless person Fine! Fastestthingalive34 doesn't own RENT or any of the characters in it! OKAY?!**

**Me: Enjoy!**

* * *

"December 24th, 1989, 9 p.m. eastern standard time..." Mark said as he taped a homeless men on the street and some random shots of the city. "You see, I have like this obsession with homeless people... I'm not sure why, but I do. I know what you're thinking. Wow, what a freak!" Mark said before hoping on his bike. But, once he got on he fell off and got a concussion and then got hit by several cars.

It was just then when a flyer hit Mark in the face. Mark, who had miraculously recovered from his concussion in a few mer seconds, read the flyer.

"Okay losers,

Your rent is due so pay it!"

Mark gasped. "RENT!" he yelled for no reason.

* * *

Meanwhile in some apartment, Roger was slamming his guitar against the floor.

"I HATE YOU TOO GUITAR!" Roger yelled.

But just then, the power went out.

"NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU DUMB GUITAR!" Roger yelled to the guitar.

Mark on the other hand was walking up the stairs to the apartment, once Mark opened the door to the apartment he tripped and fell flat on his face.

"AAHHH! BURGLAR!" Rouge yelled as he beat Mark over the head.

"AHHH! ROGER STOP! IT'S ME, MARK!" Mark yelled as he shield him self with his arms.

Roger then stopped beating Mark over the head. "Oh, hey Mark, whats up?" Roger said happily.

"This is what's up!" Mark said as he shoved the flyer in Rogers face.

Roger's eyes widened as he read the flyer. "We can't pay this!" he said.

"I know! I know pick me!" Mark said as he raised his arm in the air.

"Uh... Mark?" Roger said as he pointed to Mark.

"I say that we set the papers on fire and then throw them off the balcony!" Mark said happily.

"But... isn't there a high chance of someone or something getting caught on fire and dying?" Roger asked, slightly confused.

"Yeah, so?" Mark asked.

Roger sighed. "Well, alright." he said.

"Okay, we need matches!" Mark said as he frantically searched the house for a match.

"Oh, I have some matches!" Roger said as he pulled a match out of no where.

"Why do you have a match?" Mark asked.

"Well, I carry them around with me just incase some Hispanic, junkie, strip dancer comes in asking me to light her candle. But what are the odds of that happening right?" Roger said.

"Aren't you talking about Mimi?" Mark asked.

"Who?" Roger asked stupidly.

Mark shook his head. "Never mind..." he said.

Roger then threw all of the papers into the trash can that they randomly had placed in the center of the room.

Just then, the phone rang.

"I'll get it!" Mark said as he ran to the phone. "Hello?" Mark asked.

There was heavy breathing over the phone.

"I'm gunna kill you..." whispered the voice.

"Oh, hey Collins, I'll throw down the keys..." Mark said as he hung up the phone.

Mark grabbed the keys off the desk that they placed on and ran to the window.

"HERE YA GO COLLINS!" Mark cried.

* * *

Down bellow the apartment was a man in a mask with a butchers knife.

Collins, who just so happened to be walking by at that time, saw this and jumped onto the man with the knife.

"GIVE UP! I'M A COP!" Collins yelled.

"No...Collins...you're no cop..." the man said.

"SHHH! Don't tell people!" Collins whispered.

Just then the man beat Collins over the head knocking him out.

Luckily, then man dropped the keys and the keys just so happened to fall into Collins' right hand.

* * *

Meanwhile, Roger had set the papers in the bin on fire.

Mark stared into the orange and red flames.

"Pretty..." Mark said as though he was in some sort of trance.

"MARK! DO I NEED TO CALL THE DOCTOR AGAIN?!" Roger yelled.

"AAAHHH!" Mark yelled in a very high pitched, girly voice.

"That's what I thought." Roger said.

"You think?" Mark asked.

"Yes!" Roger said.

"Oh..." Mark responded.

"Help me lift the barrel!" Roger demanded.

"OKAY!" Mark said in a very prepish manner as he and Roger lifted the bin and ran to the window.

"Kids, don't try this at home!" Mark said as he threw the bin out the window. No I mean the _whole_ barrel.

As it fell it hit Mimi on the head, causing to make her begin to bleed insanely. It also hit Benny's car causing it to explode.

Once Mark and Roger heard the explosion they began to run in slow motion with the mission impossible theme playing in the background.

"MARK, ROGER, YOU IDIOTS! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Benny demanded.

Mark looked over at Roger nervously.

"I think we're in trouble..." Mark squeaked.

"Yeah... Benny's gunna try and kill us like how he tried to last week when we "accidentally" pushed him down the stairs and broke his leg." Roger said.

"Yeah..." Mark said as the two of them went out the door.

* * *

Once they got to the bottom of the street a thought occurred to Mark. "Um...what ever happened to Collins?" Mark asked.

Roger smiled. "Maybe he died." he said.

"Maybe... but I keep getting the feeling that wasn't Collins on the phone..." Mark said.

"Why?" Roger asked.

"I don't know it maybe it because he said something about killing me..." Mark said.

"Mark you idiot! That was probably a murderer!" Roger snapped.

"Oh..." Mark said. "So that's why he threatened to kill...well I guess that makes sense..." he said.

Roger rolled his eyes.

Just then, Benny came into view.

"You morons blew up my car!" Benny said.

"We did?" Mark asked.

"I dunno...did you?" asked Benny who had short term memory loss.

"No, Benny why would we ever do something like that?" Roger asked.

Benny smiled. "You're right, I'm sorry!" Benny said happily.

"So, why are you here?" Mark asked.

Benny placed a hand on his chin. "I think it was because I needed you cancel Maureen's protest...but, I'm not sure..." he said.

"Yeah, that was probably it..." Mark said.

"Maureen broke up with Mark." Roger said.

"Who?" Mark asked.

"Mark is taking this seriously, he's been pretending that he doesn't even know who she is anymore..." Roger said.

"No, seriously, who's Maureen?" Mark asked.

"Did she get a new man?" Benny asked.

"No." Roger said.

"WHO'S THIS MAUREEN?!" Mark yelled as he placed his hands on his head.

"So she's dating?" Benny asked.

"A lawyer named Joanne." Roger said.

"WHO'S MAUREEN AND JOANNE DAMN IT?!" Mark yelled as he began cursing his head off.

Benny then for no reason began to talk about some cyber art studio or something. He began to walk on the edge of the icy sidewalk, but accidentally slipped and cracked his head open.

Mark was going to scream for help, but Roger covered Mark's mouth.

"No Mark, if you call for help, then the coppers will come after us, and that's not good!" Roger said.

Mark nodded in agreement. "Okay, so we just walk away slowly..." Mark said as him and Roger began to walk away slowly before breaking out into a run.

* * *

**A/N: YAY! Reviews please.**

**Mark: Why am I such an idiot in this stroy?**

**Me: Because it's a spoof duh!**

**Mark: rolls eyes**


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